May Archives

Bikini Contest Winner Loves Wedding Cake

Bikini Contest Winner Uses Wedding Cake Diet

Bikini contest winner swears that her 11,000 calorie per day wedding cake diet is what helps her maintain her shapely figure. That and buying super-industrial strength, custom made swimsuits by the looks of it! Personally, I want to know where she bought the super duty stool…

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Categories: General, Crazy Stuff, Weird, Stupid People

Sign Hazard

Sharp Sign

Always pay attention!

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Categories: General, Crazy Stuff, Stupid People

Urge to Kill

One thing that really angers Johnny’s brain is needing to stop for an item late at night and spotting a store that appears to be open. You know the ones, every single light is burning, both inside and outside the store including the main sign… wasting enough energy to power up your home for an entire year every hour… just like they would be if the store were open. Employees are usually inside closing the place, restocking the shelves, etc. giving off the general appearance that commerce is actually taking place. You turn off the main road, drive across miles and miles of bumpy, neglected parking lot and park your car. You lock your doors and walk up to the front entrance to find the freaking door is LOCKED!!!
 
You spin around in dismay looking for the sign that displays what the store hours are and you finally find it… a very small, mostly illegible, old and yellowed sign in nearly microscopic print that can barely be seen even with binoculars from 10 feet away!! Would it be that much trouble to put up a small NEON sign that burns negligible energy in the front window to display that the store is CLOSED???? Maybe something we can see from the main road? It doesn’t have to be gigantic like the main store sign that is lighting up the night sky like the Bat Signal. This is negative customer service at it’s finest and it’s usually the biggest conglomerates that are the most guilty of creating this major inconvenience. Why do we put up with this crap??
 
Store hours in tiny print, magnified
 
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Categories: General, Stupid People

I Hate Treehugging EX-GF’s!

This photo was emailed to me by my mom, and not just because she thought it was funny, but because she thought the girl in the picture is one of my ex-girlfriends!

My Ex-GF!!

After taking a careful look at the photo, I think she may be right. Wow, that’s what I call a woody! No wonder I was never able to satisfy her!

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Categories: General, Crazy Stuff, Weird