General Archives

Cause For Rising Ocean Levels Found!

Some scientists suggest that the recent rise in ocean water levels can partly be attributed to over-weight cruise ship passengers. This was never a problem in the past but there are now so many people with disposable incomes and over sized girths taking long cruises that the evidence has become difficult to overlook. The cruise lines are also partly to blame for this phenomena because of the fact that their passengers are encouraged to overeat with lavish banquets and buffets. Passengers find the temptation to chow down at several meals a day and pack on extra weight to be too difficult to resist.

A spokesperson for the World Ocean Level Institute claims that “these ships were designed for passengers with an average weight of approximately 175 pounds, in the past 5 years we’ve seen these averages climb to 225 pounds and more. Couple that with the huge increase in the number of ships at sea at any give time and you can see why we would have cause for alarm. Something must be done!”

Another concern is the number of over-weight passengers jumping overboard while the ships are at sea. This causes an even greater displacement of water than would ordinarily be expected because they spend more time in the water, thus causing the average to be much higher than normal.

Man Overboard

Scientists have yet to come up with a workable solution to this growing problem and are worried that if nothing is done the mean ocean levels will continue to rise, eventually inundating many coastal cities. One suggestion was to have passengers exercise more while on board, with someone even suggesting that the passengers take up oars and actually row the ships like ancient galleys.

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Categories: General, Stupid People

Britney Shaves Head - Reveals Klingon Heritage

Who would have guessed that Britney Spears was actually half Klingon? Her shaven head stunt proves it without a doubt! Shaved Head Britney is a Klingon It should have been obvious all along though, Klingon women are well known for their tawdry, drunken and unpredictable behavior.

To top it off she reveals her new baldy look by going to a tattoo parlor where the paparazzi and crowds of fans were thick as thieves. Hey Britney, nothing screams “attention ‘ho” like shaving your head, checking in and out of rehab within a 24 hour period and then stopping in to get tagged with a brand new tattoo. I wonder if Klingon women like to go pantiless too? We shudder at the thought!

This girl obviously needs some serious help! Maybe Lt. Worf could give her a Klingon style intervention.

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Categories: General, Crazy Stuff, Weird, Celebrity, Bad Girls

NASA Builds New Ass Rocket

There’s just no limit to the ingenuity of a total idiot as this guy proves. What the hell would possess anyone to think it would be safe to stick a rocket in your ass crack and NOT receive 3rd degree burns? This guy won’t be sitting down for weeks!

Guys launches rocket from ass crack

“Ignition and Lift Off!”

Guys ass catches on fire

“Oops, he forgot his flame retardant space diaper”

3rd degree burns

“Houston, we have a problem, the launch pad has a large vertical crack and extensive fire damage”.

Categories: General, Crazy Stuff, Weird, Stupid People

Wacky Robot Ride

This looks like a lot of fun, and a bit dangerous too. It came awful close to slamming the guys head against the ground. Imagine this ride at an amusement park? How much would you pay?

Video courtesy of Daily Haha

Don’t forget the dramamine!

Categories: General, Crazy Stuff, Weird