In an unexpected turn of events President Bush has proposed an entirely new method of turning the tide of illegals crossing the border north to the US. His claims that although the crossings are illegal the offenders receive no actual penaltly for breaking the law and they should include more than just being turned around and shipped back to Mexico with out so much as a spanking. His plan involves setting up giant movie screens every so often along the border facing south that will play continuous reruns of old Three Stooges movies to show that we mean business and they should turn back now.

The overall idea according to Bush is to “Illustrate what kind of punishment they will have to expect if they get caught on an illegal crossing. The punishment will include but will not be limited to: ear tugging, eye poking, foot stomping, pants burning with hot irons, lying on the floor and “running” in circles while woofing like a dog, smacked in the face with cream pies, participating in food fights and learning to snap your fingers and crack your knuckles rapidly while yelling “Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk!”

When asked if he sincerely thought that this plan would work he snapped back, “Why Coitenly!!! Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk”

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