Johnny’s brain is always working overtime (just to keep up!) and has a few Mom’s day gift ideas for you guys. I know you’re all excited now! One of the coolest things you can do for your mom is to go out and get a killer new tattoo that she will treasure always. This is provided that you’re the one wearing it, not her! Here’s one that would look really cool and is guaranteed to impress any mom out there! Laser removal surgery not included.

Of course Johnny knows that a cool new tattoo isn’t for everybody, especially not wussies, gurly men and people that just don’t love their mother quite that much… so he has a couple more gift ideas! How about a nifty retro toaster from the 1930’s? Knowing how poor the wiring was back in those days I would suggest that you make sure her home is fully insured before buying her one of these beauties! Fire insurance not included with purchase! Everytime she burns the toast she’ll think of you!

Last of all I bring you the ultimate mothers day gift. A vacuum cleaner that everyone can truly appreciate. This baby has 400HP and can suck a basketball thru a garden hose, not to mention small household pets, very young children and the veneer right off the living room floor… Portability is a minor issue but who cares when you’ve got the worlds most powerful vacuum cleaner sitting right in the middle of the den! Hearing protection not included.

Nothing but the best for dear old Mom!

Technorati tags: mothers day, mom, tattoos, gift ideas, gadgets, humor, crazy, weird

Gigantic mechanical spiders from Venus vow revenge after watching their cousins from Mars fail in their mission to destroy Tom Cruise. Actually, this is just a screenshot from a new Tom Cruise epic in the making, “War of the Worlds 2″ where huge mechanical spiders descend on Earth and chase Tom all over the landscape, just like in “War of the Worlds”.

When interviewed, Tom claimed that this one would be far bigger and better than the first movie, with edge of your seat special effects and a 400 million dollar budget. He went on… “The spiders in this movie think they are much smarter than the Martians and are much more determined to destroy me and ultimately Earth. In the end they find that they cannot exist in Earth’s oxygen rich atmosphere which causes them to rust up so badly they become immobilized… eventually crumpling into rusted heaps of metal. Oh, crap! Did I just give the plot away? I hate when that happens…”

Gee, that sounds so… exciting… If we’re lucky they’ll rewrite the ending with Tom dying in the last scene… we can only hope!

Technorati tags: Tom Cruise, Mars, Venus, spiders, weird, humor, funny

Bikini contest winner swears that her 11,000 calorie per day wedding cake diet is what helps her maintain her shapely figure. That and buying super-industrial strength, custom made swimsuits by the looks of it! Personally, I want to know where she bought the super duty stool…

Technorati tags: bikini, swim suit, weird, funny, obese

Always pay attention!

Technorati tags: sign, stupid, weird, silly, funny