My new car came in today and as you can see it’s a real chick magnet. How can it miss? 400HP, steamroller style low profile front tires, half-track rear suspension, bullet-proof armor and a 60MM anti-tank gun mounted on the hood. If the gigantic air horn doesn’t get the traffic moving a few anti-tank rounds into the rear ends of the vehicles ahead will certainly do the trick.

You have no idea how expensive it was to get the super exclusive rust-camouflage paint job put on this beauty! You should see the looks I get at valet parking!

Only problem is I won’t be earning any brownie points with the Greenpeace people! Oh well, some folks like Hummers, it’s just a matter of taste with a large dose of utility thrown in for good measure. Pass the car wax and the fuel nozzle, please!

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